Lockdown Has Changed Me

Now that the UK is starting to ease its lockdown measures a little bit (a little too early in my opinion!), I thought I would talk about how lockdown has changed me and what’s next after the restrictions are lifted. 

I don’t know if I am a rarity, but I have honestly loved lockdown. 

Sure, I miss seeing my friends, I miss going out to restaurants and going on adventures, but overall I have LOVED slowing the pace down and not having to do anything by the clock! I’ve been able to actually relax, listen to my body and take time to appreciate the things I have.

However, with the lockdown easing I am having to get used to the idea that I have to go out into the real world and mingle with people again! I have always been a bit of a health freak anyway, even before my ileostomy. I will do anything to not get ill! So, it is giving me a little bit of anxiety knowing that things are going to return to ‘normal’, even though the virus is still out there. 

I must admit, lockdown has changed me.

I was very much consumed by buying new things – wanting things I didn’t have, comparing myself to other people, and just generally being caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Lockdown has allowed me to realise that I don’t need to buy stuff to keep ‘on trend’. I don’t need to always eat out and I certainly don’t need to try and live up to anyone else’s expectations. 

Lockdown has made me fall back in love with living.

It’s made me realise there is so much more to life than making money. I have fallen back in love with my home and my family. It’s made me appreciate the friends I have and how much they offer to my life. I no longer want to spend money on things that mean nothing, but rather on things that will better myself and my living space. 

My garden has become a place where I can meditate and forget the world. My house has become a home again. I’ve had that time to rekindle things and get my creative juices flowing.

I have not had to think twice about my ileostomy. 

I haven’t had that fear of my bag getting full and having to find a toilet while I am out and about. I haven’t had to worry about a possible leak or feeling uncomfortable. I’ve been able to workout from home and improve my body because I have time to do all the things that we should have time to do!

This period of my life has made me realise that I am really comfortable with who I am as a person. I am happy with my own company; I don’t NEED someone to tell me my worth and I think that is a really powerful thing to have. It’s been an eye-opening experience. So, while many have complained about the restrictions we have faced, I have felt almost renewed. 

I know when I step back out into the world of adventures and travel, I will go out with a fresh outlook and a new sense of appreciation. I certainly won’t take things for granted ever again.

I am very lucky with what I have achieved in life and what I have. 

I’m lucky with all the experiences I have had and look forward to many more! I never thought I would get to do the things I have. I thought my life was over back in 2008 when I fell ill with ulcerative colitis, but I am proof you can still achieve whatever you want to do! I am excited, if somewhat nervous about this new chapter of our lives. 

I will be a bit wary of people, I will keep my distance even when social distancing is reduced, and I will always carry hand sanitiser with me. This is the new normal now and something we will all have to get used to, but if it means we can all stay healthy – I am all for it! 

Keeping striving for greatness,

Nathan x