Finding what makes you happy

Each year I have with my ileostomy, I find something new that makes me happy. When I first got my stoma, I never would have believed I would find one thing that would make me happy, let alone all the things I’ve found over the years.

Last year I tried paddle boarding, something I never thought I would do! I’m terrified of water, and I can’t swim, but it just looked so peaceful and tranquil, that I was convinced to give it a go!

I have a dream of being able to yoga on a paddle board in Bali, but we’re tackling baby steps first!

The beauty of paddle boarding, at least I have found, is that you can go as a group, but you’re pretty much going solo as soon as you’re on the board and it’s a test of your own capabilities. Some of my friends can stand up, some sit down but we’re all able to slowly paddle along and enjoy an activity that’s so therapeutic and hypnotic. I’m smiling now just thinking about it and I can’t wait for paddle boarding season!

When the weather is cold and I can’t get my paddle board out, I love the simplicity of watching a good film. My first trip to the cinema after COVID restrictions lifted felt like the guiltiest of pleasures. I honestly shed a tear when the trailers began. It was a chance to escape all the craziness of what was happening in the world. Watching a film takes you on a journey, where you don’t know what’s going to happen, or where you’re going. There’s always a film for every occasion and every emotion. On the weekends when my son is at his dad’s, I focus on some self-care and always get through a couple of films.

Happiness comes in many forms and for me, one of those forms is my wonderful friend Maurice. We met at dementia group. We sat next to each-other on my first day and we’ve been friends ever since. We used to team up and cheat on the quizzes together, always laughing to ourselves that we were rule-breakers! Sadly, Maurice’s dementia advanced and he couldn’t live on his own anymore, so was moved to a home. I now go and visit him every week, sometimes he remembers me and sometimes he thinks I’m the cleaner, but we always have a good chat and a laugh. Even on the days where he thinks I’m the cleaner, when I go to leave, he asks, “do you think you could visit again?”.

Nothing makes me smile more in the week than knowing Maurice has enjoyed doing a puzzle and telling me all about his RAF days, stories I could listen to a million times over and never get bored.

Finding what makes you happy doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. It doesn’t have to be compared to what makes other people happy. Just give something a try and even failing can create a positive experience and memory that you never knew you needed.

My motto for this year, that I may or may not have stolen from someone else, is; Better to do something half arsed, than not at all!