Feeling Lonely During Coronavirus Lockdown

Under normal circumstances, I think of myself as a bit of a loner. I often have people around me, but I definitely don’t mind being on my own.

However, with the coronavirus lockdown in place, I am currently feeling ‘lockdown loneliness’ because I no longer have the choice to interact with people, as right now it’s safer not to do so with anyone outside our own households.

Lockdown is vitally important, but it isn’t ideal for our mental health. By nature we are social beings and need some form of human contact.

I have found that when I do see my friends I am talking to them for longer because I am seeing them far less than I usually would.

However, I am very lucky to have my husband, 00Steve, home and because I’m a key worker I am getting out of the house more often than others. I am currently working every day to help shield the lady I look after and her children who vary on the vulnerability scale. So I have daily human contact with her and her immediate family, plus I have formed friendships with two of her grandchildren who I text a bit.

Having 00Steve at home is a godsend as we are trying to home school our six-year-old daughter whose focus at home is appalling! Plus our almost three-year-old son is trying to work out what is going on and why he isn’t receiving my undying attention like usual, or why his Tuesday playdate with his best friend has disappeared. Home schooling is difficult because I am not the most patient person, but I haven’t wished she was back at school either! Other than when I think I’m failing her.

I really miss my friends though. Like really, really miss them.

I would usually see my school-mum friends twice a day, five days a week and go out for coffee, I would see my dance-mum friends three times a week plus nights out, and on Tuesdays Button and I would go to a playgroup and then to our friends for lunch. I also see my best friends on alternate Tuesdays back in my hometown and last but certainly not least, there’s my running buddies.

So, even though I am used to being on my own in order to keep my anxiety at bay, I do have quite a full on schedule where I am surrounded by people.

Talking in group chats or on video calls throughout the coronavirus pandemic hasn’t been the same, but it is something.

I am thankful that we have the technology to do this easily, but I often think it is way more mentally and emotionally exhausting because our routines which would normally help regulate our wellbeing, have vanished.

I often find myself too anxious to join in calls with those I hold dear and find myself longing to sit in my favourite café with my friends having a real chat over a steaming hot mocha and a cooked breakfast. I am a hugger too so the lack of physical contact between me and my friends is really difficult as I married a man who doesn’t think of hugging as important – it rarely enters his mind that others would want one! Also, running by yourself is super boring after running with friends! Having music on helps me unwind, but I like chatting about my day with my friend Lindsay.

How are you finding lockdown loneliness? Are you struggling or finding it to be bliss?